My sister is ten years younger than me.
So for a long period of time we had little in common and I viewed her as an extremely annoying interloper into my family of origin. The nerve of her – like when she stuck her sticky little fingers into my 500-piece stash of Bazooka Bubble Gum and actually had the gall to grab one. It was the height of chutzpah considering the gum stash was a prized present from my boyfriend. – a fact that meant little to her at age three.
When she went to kindergarten, we closed the gap a little and enjoyed moments – and I mean moments – of camaraderie.
Even back then, though, she did have a few good things going for her:
- She could carry a tune.
- She didn’t cringe when dance music came on my transistor radio or American Bandstand on TV because SHE – unlike ME – had an acute sense of rhythm and could watch someone else’s dance moves and effortlessly duplicate the steps and sequences.
“It’s not fair,” I would resentfully lament to myself.
Plus – years later – without even “trying” – in her mid 20’s – she married the “perfect guy” the first time around and then gave birth to two daughters who grew more well-behaved and adorable with every passing year.
By that time, I was onto hubby #2 and had given birth five times with two different husbands and still couldn’t spit out a girl child – much less well-behaved off-spring. (All five were pretty adorable, come to think of it.)
And though I do have five utterly terrific adult sons, at present they are not doing “daughterly” things like my nieces do for my sister:
- Posting on Facebook how wonderful she is
- Sending her flowery Mother’s Day cards and letters
- Listening attentively to her laments on aging knees and hair loss – especially on the crown of her head
- AND texting her and calling her multiple times throughout the week
And, did I also mention, my little sister has no obsession with sugar and carbs and never eats emotionally to fill a void.
Seriously? It’s just not fair.
Sisters…Who needs ‘em?
On the other hand, my sister is:
- always in my corner
- always interested in my projects
- cheers me on excessively
- AND, is a truth-teller – telling me what I need to hear, not what I necessarily WANT to hear. My sister challenges my version of things – throwing out her advice and perspective – even when I absolutely do not request it
On the other hand, who else but she can laugh hysterically at the crazy, unfiltered outbursts our mother had when we were growing up and then in the next moment shed tears over her passing? (No one, but us – except maybe our beloved middle-child brother)
So, I wasn’t blessed with female off-spring, but I am fortunate – very fortunate – to have my sister in my corner.
- My sister readily tells me when I am over-reacting
- She tells me when my hair is ridiculously too long
- And when my face foundation is too thick, too dark and simply too much. And then she goes the extra mile, whips out her container of foundation and gives it to me to keep.
- And she is THE ONE I turn to when I need to know if what I write weekly in my column flows logically and is actually engaging and making sense.
On the other hand, she’s pretty, pretty, pretty lucky too. Because as much as she loves me, supports me, encourages me and berates me when warranted, I do the same for her.
And I will continue to do the same for her.
In retrospect, we spent the first chapter of our lives together doing our own thing.
We spent the next segment playing catch-up. She got over being irritated by my doing everything first and began to value my wisdom. I got over my resentment of her growing up in a more relaxed and more affluent household than my brother and I did and by being “the baby” just naturally getting more attention. And more stuff!
And in all the ensuing years, now that our parents are gone and our nests have emptied, we are simply realizing how lucky we are to have each other.
What’s your experience like with your sister? We’d all like to know.
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
