I Take Back Everything I Said Last Week

I take back everything I said last week – I would rather be hauling water up three flights of stairs than dealing with the following:

I tore my hair out.
It didn’t help.

I cried hot, thick tears.
They only scorched my cheeks.

I screamed as loud as I could,
scaring my dog half-to-death.

Nothing helped.

First-world problem, I know.
Locked out of my main G mail account
since a week ago Thursday.

Impossible to talk to a live person.

My stomach is churning.
My heart beat is rapid.
Tightness in my chest makes me wiggle.
Spots appearing in my vision causes panic.
I’m sure my blood pressure,
normally “normal” is sky high.
But, of course, I can’t find my blood pressure machine
Either.

Password issues.
Verification issues.
Back up email is no longer accessible.

Am I the only person
In the world who has this problem?
Hard to believe.

I can no longer talk to a recorded voice
without sobbing.
And my husband’s plaintive pleas
to calm down
only infuriates me more.

Google support: a joke
Apple tech and Verizon tech: “not their problem.”
Geek squad: a dead end
My last hope: 
A tech guy working not far from my house
assures me he will get it done tomorrow

“Bring your computer and phone in,” he says expansively and calmly.
“I’ll take a look.
We’ll solve it.”
$190 later, he can’t fix it either.

Hopefully, by next week,
I will have found my blood pressure machine,
grown back some of the hair I pulled out,
And actually have access to my main G mail account.

And, hopefully, by next week,
I will be calm enough to pen a newsletter of substance,  
rather than one filled with 
irritation, aggravation and frustration.

Hopefully.

Keep Preserving Your Bloom,

Iris Ruth Pastor

PS: Late last night, miraculously,  I got access to my gmail account in my computer and my adored nephew, Mark,  then fixed the rest of the problems. Thank goodness for smart, whiz-bang young people who are relatives.