With age hopefully comes some privilege, some wisdom and a whole host of revelations and resolutions. Here’s what I’ve picked up along the way……..
I’ve finally decided that now that I am over the age of 75, I AM NEVER GOING TO:
Chew gum after the flavor has gone out
Eat fat-free mayonnaise, no-fat salad dressing and cheap ice cream
Eat more than I want just to make the hostess happy
Repress my anger
Refrain from giving someone a compliment the moment it pops into my head
Force myself to use up my cheap perfume before I start on the good stuff
Be afraid to use the guest towels in someone else’s home
Not visit my sister on her birthday
Keep on display “tchotchkes” I’ve been given that I really don’t like
Pass up an opportunity to buy lemonade from a kid selling it from a homemade stand
Stop licking the bowl after I make a cake
Start sitting like a lady
Dress conservatively
Choose sensible shoes over sexy ones
Do for someone else what he is capable of doing for himself
Begrudge doing for someone else what he truly needs help doing for himself
Pass up a chance to slow dance with my husband
Resent someone else’s easy success
I have finally decided now that I am over the age of 75, I AM GOING TO:
Continue to flirt, wear black mascara and dress funky
Talk dirty in the appropriate situation
Tell it like it is/how I see it
Laugh like hell
Sing in the shower/dance in my living room in front of the open windows
Eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches weekly
Drink an ice-cold beer at a ball game
Work my arms with weights so I can still wear sleeveless dresses
Fantasize to my heart’s content
Continue my policy of answering the phone at my own convenience – after all, they called me at theirs
Go out to eat even if there are leftovers
Accept that even shadowy and incomplete memory fragments have meaning
Nurture ties that bind rather than lines of discord that separate
Eavesdrop shamelessly when stuck waiting in line
I have finally decided now that I am over the age of 75, IT’S ABOUT TIME I:
Learn how to use the remote, pick out a cantaloupe and figure out how to read a stock statement
Take a photography course
Stop gagging at the site of raw tofu
Lower my expectations for others and raise my own for myself
Try harder to return phone calls promptly – not just when I feel like it
Stop agonizing over my poor memory and inability to remember details
Quit paying dues to groups in which I have no interest in maintaining membership
Stop using the calculator to figure my checkbook and exercise elementary school math subtraction skills instead
Listen instead of talk so much
Listen instead of interrupt so much
Listen instead of thinking about my next witty retort
Admit I love romance novels with a passion
Figure out how to give a seamless dinner party
Nourish my intoxication with ideas
Realize that when God takes away, he often gives back – but in another form
And finally, I have decided that even though I am now over the age of 75, I can still express myself freely, adamantly, often and with vigor. How about you?
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
