I met a guy the other night after attending a political event. He told me shortly after he retired that he had a nervous breakdown.
I started laughing and leaning in conspiratorially, I flippantly retorted, “Yeah, I have one of those quite often these days as I approach the winter of my life!”
“No,” he answered emphatically, “I really did have a full-blown breakdown.”
That got my attention.
To get out of his funk, he wisely chose therapy coupled with regularly scheduled work-outs at the gym with a trainer.
‘How are you doing now?” I hesitantly asked. (He looked pretty composed so I was hoping for a positive reply.)
“Great,” he retorted. “And in May, I’m pulling up roots and moving to a new city where I hardly know anyone.”
“Why would you do that???” I asked somewhat petulantly. “That’s kinda drastic, don’t you think?”
There was an extended pause and then he answered softly, “Because I know in my gut that it’s time to shake things up and try something entirely new.”
“Wow,” I thought to myself, “that’s a powerful and dramatic way to deal with a transition from fully functioning forensic accountant to mentally unhinged baby boomer to a retired elderly gent. An unfamiliar environment means finding new EVERYTIHNG: friends, home, doctors, barber, eateries, gym.
And it got me thinking…
Even if we are ready for a fresh start, how do we figure out what dreams and aspirations to hold onto and which to let go – assuming most of us would prefer to figure it all out without a mental breakdown?
In Buddhism, there is a concept called the “Sacred Pause” where we experience a suspension of activity – a deliberate period of stillness, reflection and centering. We no longer are moving forward toward any goal. (Just the thought of that makes me feel itchy, uncomfortable and unharnessed. How about you?)
Instead of trying a million different things to fix a situation – wracking our brains for the perfect course of action on how to move forward – we just STOP.
The Sacred Pause calls upon us to be fully present in the moment. The “Scared Pause” – whoops – I mean the “Sacred Pause” – calls upon us to acknowledge and explore our feelings and thoughts without self-judgment and censor. The practice of the Sacred Pause will hopefully YIELD to new insights, to more clarity, to a calm state of mind and to meaningful connections.
Before we press the gas pedal and sail through the green light, we yield to inaction – to lying fallow – just like farmers who let their fields rest to recapture and restore essential nutrients.
Hopefully that pause will lead us to greater awareness of what truly matters to each of us and what course of action we should embrace.
Transitions are tough, but with a deeper understanding of ourselves, we can confidently press down on the gas pedal and start moving forward toward a new reality.
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
No matter where you started, where you are or where you are going, a jean jacket will always be the right choice of apparel. Sally forth with confidence and good cheer!
