I don’t give up on people.
I think:
If only I try harder, she will like me.
If I just interact with her in a caring way, the caring will be reciprocated.
I take one of her rare positive reactions as a jumping-off point signifying the beginning of a new chapter for our relationship – one of acceptance and mutual affection. And I am always caught off guard when her baseline of indifference and low-level animosity returns in full force. It always surprises me.
I give with lower and lower expectations of a favorable response. And yet, I continue to give.
I scrutinize my own behavior relentlessly looking for an answer on why I am constantly made to feel irrelevant by this person and why I am constantly aiming to try to change the dynamics between us.
I chafe at feeling undervalued and against logic, once more – go the extra mile.
I compliment.
I gift.
I praise.
I smile.
I hide my pain.
This Mother’s Day, the most valuable gift I am giving myself is
letting go of this person’s hold on me and
letting go of my desire for a relationship and friendship.
I’m re-directing my love and care and affection to people in my life who appreciate me and value me.
I’m concentrating on making myself happy.
I’m deep breathing.
I’m doing more yoga.
I’m creating a healthy environment for myself.
I’m investing more in the prolific and deeply satisfying friendships I do have – and feeling immense gratitude for all my buddies who guide me, help me, have my back and nurture me.
And I’m keeping this in mind too: Self-love isn’t vanity – it’s sanity and getting rid of toxic people in our lives is an act of self-love.
Let’s embrace ourselves and hold close to this message below:
Happy Mother’s Day and Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
