How important is it to give back? And how exactly can we? We have the power to brighten someone’s day and to make a difference in the world – in so many very simple ways.
We live in the physical world and can see the results of encouragement, kindness and empathy first hand.
It’s how we treat the people in our lives, beginning with our spouses, our kids, our parents. Our friends. Neighbors. Shop clerks. Employees. Strangers we bump into for a mere few seconds of our lives – and may not ever see again. Which happened to me recently at a book conference: the the guy standing in line in front of me calmly noted the slow-moving line of people – both waiting to buy coffee and trying to get to the next panel discussion on time. He paid for his cup of coffee and my cup of coffee to save me and the others standing behind me a little bit of time.
It’s listening. Paying attention. Taking note. Being proactive. Giving someone a compliment while picking up your dry cleaning. Remembering to call your friend to see how her dental surgery went. Acknowledging – with a hearty wave – the driver who lets you in the turn lane when you’ve forgotten to get over. Sending a message of encouragement when a colleague is experiencing a rough patch in her career. Writing a thank you note for a dinner party – mentioning one dish in particular that made it so special.
I thought a lot about giving back when I was writing my book – hoping that when it was published it would help other midlife and baby boomer women who were struggling with challenges that sapped their strength and marred their psyche. I wanted my book to inspire readers to gain the wisdom to live the life they craved – in fact, that is the subtitle of my book.
With the internet at our fingertips, we also have an opportunity to spread goodness and kindness. We have an opportunity to reach others – but it is an opportunity laced with ambiguity and ambivalence. We love the internet for its convenience, for all the information at our fingertips, for the instant connection to people both far and close, by blood and friendship. But we pay a price for this new way of living. It’s intrusive. It’s addictive. And, it’s quantitative.
I recognize this. If I write a newsletter that garners lots of comments, does that mean that that particular piece was more valuable than one that received fewer comments? If I paste on Instagram a picture that draws 300 likes, does that mean that picture was more meaningful than one that garnered forty-five likes? Not necessarily.
So I’ve learned to write what I feel in my heart. And write what I hope will inspire others to achieve, dream, and live their lives in full bloom. And guard against my emotions being neither unduly flattered nor overly impressed (or depressed) by the number of shares and likes.
Comments, however, are another matter altogether. Comments – when negative – provide me with food for thought. Comments – when positive – stoke the embers when my fuel tank is running near empty. And I heartily thank each one of you who have ever posted a comment on social media.
My recent book launch made me realize how powerful feedback can be and how important reviews on Amazon are from readers. My Amazon go-to guru, who lives in Portland, tells me that about half of potential buyers like to read reviews. And more weight is given – not to the professionals – but to what the average person writes, because – they’re like THEM.
Reviews are important.
- To the author – because they validate the book’s merit.
- To the reader – because it shows how someone interested in the topic responded to the author’s experience and story.
So why don’t people leave more reviews on what they buy? I’m not talking just about books – though I’d certainly like to see you review mine! I’m talking about reviews on other books, products and services, too.
My guru, eager to supply me with suggestions to dismantle barriers to writing reviews, suggested the following:
People aren’t sure what to say.
She proposes a simple approach to writing reviews of any kind. Click the number of stars and then tell two little things:
- What was one thing you can’t get out of your mind about the product – the one thing that lingers in your memory about the experience you had with it?
- Why do you think someone else would enjoy it too? Or not?
Writing a review takes a little forethought and reflection, but sharing your experience connects you to someone else interested in the same book, product or service. And my guru and I both think we all need a little more connection in this world.
If you’ve read my book The Secret Life of a Weight-Obsessed Woman or will be reading it, please consider leaving a review.
- Click here to go to the Amazon page for my book.
- Scroll down to the little gray box that says “Write a customer review”
- Sign in to your Amazon account
- Rate and review the book!
Policies for reviews can be inconsistent. For instance, identifying yourself as a friend or relative of the author may cause Amazon to throw out the review. Sometimes even calling the author by her first name can be a red flag. And verified purchases get more consideration.
I’d be honored if you left an HONEST review of my book. And, as I’ve said before, very appreciative of the connection.
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
Iris