If you are like most Americans, I’m willing to bet September 11, 2001 is at the top of your list of things that get to you. The events of that infamous day of wreckage and carnage reawakened our long dormant sense of vulnerability and of the importance of staying watchful and informed.
Another significant milestone is coming up next week – though perhaps less dramatic – but certainly as transformative: the Jewish New Year of Rosh Hashanah.
We eat festive meals, indulge our sweet tooth, hear the blasts of the Shofar, while we desist from all work – both creative and non-creative alike.
And we ask the Almighty to grant us peace, prosperity and blessings in the upcoming year.
Rosh Hashanah presents the Jewish people with a key opportunity – to begin anew and establish a fresh directive – focusing on what we want for ourselves in the New Year – and not focusing on our past behaviors. Whew.
Here’s what I want for YOU and for ME:
WE NEED TO BECOME BETTER LISTENERS
Hillel and Shammai were two great rabbis and leading sages who lived 2000 years ago. They each founded opposing schools of thought and would disagree about everything:
How to celebrate holidays
How to practice rituals
How to interpret ethical questions
Whom to allow into Jewish schools
What food could be eaten
And who could marry whom
History tells us they debated on at least 360 issues and that Hillel was usually more lenient and Shammai was more strict in their opinions.
Should you tell an ugly bride she is beautiful?
Shammai – No, one shouldn’t lie.
Hillel – All brides are beautiful, especially on their wedding day.
What are grounds for divorce?
Shammai – One can only divorce for serious transgressions.
Hillel – One can divorce for more trivial offenses, such as burning dinner. (I’d have set the world record in that case.)
WHAT DID THEY DO THAT WAS WORTH NOTING???
THEY LISTENED TO EACH OTHER
AND THEY WERE OPEN TO ADMITTING
THEY MAY BE WRONG
I am not a good listener. I only watch TV programs that agree with my views. I purposely avoid reading newspaper articles whose headlines differ from my opinions. I don’t consider that both sides of the political aisle may in some way be RIGHT or have some redeeming qualities. And I no longer actively socialize with friends who don’t share my views.
HOW CAN I DO BETTER? HOW CAN WE DO BETTER?
Let us refrain from attacking people and stick to attacking issues.Let us move our motivation beyond winning as the goal to solving the problem as the objective.
Let us find the best solution for everyone and try to maintain good relationships while constructively disagreeing.
Like Warren Buffet, let us actively seek advice from people we respect but disagree with – hopefully leading to open-minded debate.
Let us exercise discernment – to listen to many voices. And to understand our differences.
Though we may have wildly diverse opinions, I truly believe that we all have the utmost respect for democracy, freedom and justice – the ideals upon which our great country was founded.
An example: Supreme Court Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Antonin Scalia held wildly different views on the law. She was very liberal and he was an outspoken conservative. As Ginsburg noted, “He gave her what she needed to strengthen her arguments.”
But the reciprocal benefits went far beyond that compelling reason to embrace others who have differing views. Ginsburg and Scalia connected over their love of opera and in 2015 Derrick Wang composed Ginsburg, sometimes known as Scalia/Ginsburg, a comic opera about the relationship between the Justices. Wang wrote a duet about their treasured friendship called “Best Buddies.” They are different, but they are one in their reverence for the constitution – and the institution they served.
I hope in the coming days that we stay informed and open minded, while making a concerted and sustained effort to discern truth from untruth. Let’s vote (only once, please) in November and just maybe – like Ginsburg and Scalia – leapfrog over our ideological differences and find a “best buddy.”
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
Iris Ruth Pastor