I am an emotional eater – more often than not I eat to soothe my feelings – not to fuel my body. And I’m a night eater. And, I’m just coming off of two evenings of back-to-back bingeing on sweets and carbs – fired by a “little bit” of wine.
Each night post-binge, I tossed and turned in a profound state of bloat, accompanied by an even more profound existential disappointment in myself.
I woke up each morning mad at myself – vowing to swear off all sweets until Thanksgiving and to refrain from putting one morsel of food within two inches of my mouth from 7pm until 10am in the morning.
Fat chance I will be triumphant.
Understanding how successful, powerful people operate helps us build the resilience necessary to tolerate setbacks and our own personal human failings and foibles. So quite naturally, I turned to the Notorious RBG – of blessed memory.
I know that the way Ruth Bader Ginsburg lived her life is certainly exemplary and worth remembering when we too encounter challenges, obstacles and disappointments – different though they may be from hers.
Therefore, since RBG passed away, I’ve been reading and watching everything I could possibly access about this diminutive tower of strength and integrity. And, although she worked out religiously and vigorously, no mention was ever made of her having weight issues. Judging from her thin, petite figure, I’d surmise out-of-control eating was not her vice.
But RBG certainly faced other challengers, roadblocks and obstructions when it came to things she deemed important. What could I learn from her playbook?
What did she do in times of frustration and disappointment?
When she was a first-year law student at Harvard, juggling studies and raising her infant daughter, her beloved husband Marty was diagnosed with testicular cancer. What did RBG do?
Shut down? Nope. RBG doubled down and worked harder and longer to fulfill the myriad of obligations and responsibilities thrust upon her.
RBG’s mother told her to be independent and not get angry.
I interpreted this as my bingeing patterns were MY problem to solve, but not through getting angry at myself. By turning my emotional gas away from being self-punitive, I understood I should use that energy to propel myself into a positive action mode.
RBG’s mother-in-law told her to be a little deaf to some statements uttered. I learned from RBG to tune out unkind thoughts – especially those emanating from myself and directed at myself – that only engendered useless self-loathing.
Looking at things from a new, fresh perspective and expressing herself in simple words was another of RBG’s ways she expanded her wingspan. “When I’m sometimes asked ‘When will there be enough (women on the Supreme Court)?’ and my answer is: ‘When there are nine.’ People are shocked. But there’d been nine men, and nobody’s ever raised a question about that.” I will try to model that mindset.
In times of sheer exhaustion over a stalled process, I learned from RBG to parse out what’s important and dig in all the harder. I realize now it’s more important to develop sustainable eating habits that will lead to gradual weight loss than to swear off all sugar, carbs and wine for ten weeks.
I’m beginning to get it – I’m not trying to prove myself – I’m trying to improve myself. It’s not about winning, as much as growing – moving toward our fears as we explore the previously unexamined.
And passing down that incremental, can-do, giving-our-best attitude to our granddaughters.
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Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
Iris Ruth Pastor