Marvin N. Kaplan, beloved husband, father, grandfather, brother, friend, and devoted dentist, passed away peacefully at his home on Monday, November 17, with his wife, Rella, by his side.
Marvin dedicated nearly 40 years to caring for the Clifton, OH community through his dental practice—a profession he approached not just with skill, but with deep compassion. His commitment to his patients was matched only by the love he held for his family.
Boy, I sure wish his mother was still around to read this obit. When I knew her, she was not at all sure that her oldest son was going to turn out so well. Hee Hee!
Marv and I started noticing each other in 7th grade. We both sat in the first seat in a row next to each other in math class.
He kept staring at my legs – which made me very self-conscious because they were hairy and my mom wouldn’t let me shave them.
To retaliate, I brazenly turned my head and started staring at his crotch.
I guess my bold behavior was more obvious than I thought because after a few minutes our math teacher paused in her algebraic calculations and looked at me intently, asking the following question: “Miss Levine, are you overly sexed?”
I never answered her!
Nor did I ever forget that humiliating experience.
Of course, Marv thought it was hysterical! And it truly marked the beginning of our long high school romance – culminating in us being voted “Cutest Couple” senior year.
By the time we graduated high school, I think we both knew our relationship had run its course. He met his future wife soon after beginning college and I met my future husband after transferring to the University of Florida my sophomore year.
After my divorce, I moved back to my hometown and Marv’s wife and I were thrown together on numerous random occasions. Over time we realized how much we truly liked each other and we have been close friends ever since.
And why, with Thanksgiving having just passed, am I writing about my deceased boyfriend?
I’m not sure.
But I think it has something to do with being shockingly confronted with the transitory nature of life.
Another good friend lost her husband very recently. They both met when they happened to be seated next to each other on a plane. There was a spark, but they were both married to other people. They exchanged emails and when he got a divorce, he reached out. And when she got divorced, they began seeing each other – beginning a romance that would go on long after their marriage.
I grieve mightily for my two friends who have lost their devoted partners – their soul mates – their steadfast husbands.
I recall what author Joan Didion wrote when her husband passed away about her “magical thinking”. She explained that if she thinks or behaves in certain ways during her first year of mourning, she can somehow reverse the course of events that led to her husband’s death.
Of course this is illogical, but grief knows no logic. And we all know that at some point in time we are all going to experience profound, earth shattering grief because nothing lasts forever.
Families like mine – in spite of whatever irritations, annoyances and aggravations that we may “sometimes” have with each other – gather together every Thanksgiving. We bask in the easy (or sometimes not-so-easy) camaraderie of those who are with us and are also very aware of those family members who no longer are here to pass the turkey and sweet potatoes.
I’m so sorry my two friends experienced such great loss this Thanksgiving without their devoted and loving mates. And it reminds me all over again to never take for granted the people in my life that gathered together yesterday to overeat, overshare, over pontificate – who came together with all their quirks and craziness – to once again celebrate the holiday around that very long dining room table.
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,