My mom and dad kept the family together by hosting weekly dinners at their house on Sunday evenings during the years my husband and I were raising our kids. The menu didn’t vary much – the mainstay was grilled filet mignon steaks. A huge favorite for my kids was the “free samples” they got from my dad as he was grilling. The boys loved the treat and they loved him.
My parents were fortunate that all five of their grandsons lived within five minutes driving time of their house during my kids’ most formative years.
Not only was that NOT viewed as uncommon, it actually was the norm.
Most of us today, however, are not so fortunate. I can count on one hand the number of people I know who have all their adult children and grandkids in one place – NEAR THEM.
Years ago, it became clear to my husband and I that three out of our five sons would probably spend their adult lives in the New York City area and that two would live near us in Tampa.
Worried that we would all lose touch, I wracked my brain for a way to keep the bond cohesive without the ties that bind becoming a burden.
I knew better than to try a weekly zoom call – impossible to coordinate. But still, I longed for some simple action that would lend consistency and continuity to our relationship with our five adult sons and one which would solidify the connection among the five of them too.
Epiphany! A weekly group text.
Every Friday, around dinner time, I send a text to my five sons and my husband asking them to tell me something about their past week or upcoming week that would be of interest to the group. And I share something too.
Examples of things shared:
Pictures of a newly renovated master bathroom
A child’s winning basketball shot
A trip to Key West
A long-forgotten memory from childhood
A new puppy
Highlights from a recent business trip to India
A video of one of my granddaughter’s catching her first fish and screaming, “Daddy, come help me!”
Because we are Jewish, I also wish them a “Shabbat Shalom” (a peaceful Sabbath) and include a beautiful graphic too – graphics I copy and paste from a friend’s weekly Shabbat e mail.
Here’s a few:
I have to admit that group text has worked pretty well. Most of the time, over the course of 24 hours, we get 100 percent participation.
And the surprising thing is that during the week if something relevant occurs personally or professionally, a random text will pop-up in the group text chain. Current events and sports highlights are popular add-ons.
So, after years of sending out my Friday text to my sons and husband, I decide to start a second Friday text chain to my grandkids – five out of the eight who have their own cell phones.
Same format.
Same frequency.
Three out of the five responded the first week.
I’m hanging in there – ultimately aiming for 100% participation.
Worthwhile things rarely get integrated into a lifestyle without perseverance and patience.
And I’m open to any suggestions on how to keep in touch with adult kids and grandkids and how to keep them keeping in touch with each other too.
Let me know – share your strategies – and I’ll keep you updated on my progress too.
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
