It was certainly a bad week. Not just for me, but for my poor mouth.
Massive infection
Fractured tooth needing to be extracted in pieces (OUCH!)
A complicated root canal procedure
And lots of ice packs
I was away from my husband.
I was bouncing between two of my adult kids’ houses.
I was in a lot of unremitting physical pain.
I was slurping down pints of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream at 1170 calories a pint like it was breast milk and I was a newborn.
My face was swelling from the bombardment of both the drilling and the pulling at about the same rate as my hips were spreading from the ice cream. I was sorely in need of solace, diversion and inspiration on any topic.
I unexpectedly found some from the Internet – Instagram to be more specific.
On the topic of HEALING:
Healing can be challenging because different parts of you want different things.
Your inner child craves love and validation.
Your teenage self might seek revenge for past hurts.
Your adult self desires peace and resolution.
Balancing these conflicting needs makes the healing process complex.
On the topic of motherhood:
My favorite thing about being a mom is constantly being told I’m wrong by someone who arrived on Planet Earth via the portal between my legs.
On the topic of marriage:
For couples who don’t want to grow apart, don’t start talking to others about your relationship challenges rather than to each other.
On the topic of parenting or grandparenting a “difficult” child or grandchild:
Some of us are raising the wild ones, the room-wreckers and the reality-checkers, the fire-tongued and fierce leaders – the wild-hearted and world-changers.
These kids can argue like a prosecutor when you just wish they’d say “Yes, Mummy” and move on.
But one day, they will use those skills to stand up for themselves, for the people they love and for perfect strangers because injustice doesn’t live in their world.
And impacted by the vast volume of ideas on Instagram, I came up with a plan to celebrate my husband and my 48th wedding anniversary coming up very soon.
I asked my husband to find a restaurant for us to have a leisurely rendezvous. And I emphasized the eatery must have the following three things:
Quiet
Ambience
And a bar
THIS IS MY PLAN
I’m going to wear an entirely inappropriate, cleavage-plunging red satin blouse, slip on ridiculously high stilettos and set out clinging to his forearm so I don’t break an ankle.
When we arrive at our destination, I’m going to gracefully (hopefully) slide onto a bar stool and provocatively beckon him close.
And here are the questions I intend to ask him:
What is your favorite memory of us?
What do you love most about us?
What do I do that makes you feel loved?
What is something you’d love to do together that we haven’t done yet?
What is your ideal date night?
How do you like to be comforted when you’re upset?
It’s been a long time since I’ve asked those kinds of questions.
Most of the time, I’m anxiously probing and pestering him with the following:
Are you okay?
Did you take your meds?
Are you sure you aren’t too tired to drive?
Did the doctor call back yet?
I’m going to put away my phone.
I’m going to focus solely on him.
And I’m going to stifle my normal impatience if he takes more time to answer a question I pose than I prefer.
And next year, I am going to answer the same ones back to him.
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
PS:
Register now for PYB’s second friendship event 5:30 to 7:30pm on August 28. Don’t miss out. Space is limited and is expected to fill up fast. Click on this link for more information and to register https://www.jewishtampa.com/bloom