I should have known it was a bad sign when I changed the filter on the Keurig a few days early.
I should have known it was a bad sign when I didn’t stop there but actually went on to descale the coffee machine too.
Here’s the link if you’re so inclined.
Another bad sign: I didn’t stop there. I rigorously swept the floor of the garage -which by the way was pretty filthy – and then I started on the spare refrigerator in the garage, which was enjoying the same level of filth. (My mother of blessed memory would be horrified at the dirt.)
And then I plopped on the couch – utterly exhausted.
When I begin compulsively cleaning and making order out of chaos, that is an accurate indicator that I feel out of control internally.
There were a few things bothering me.
After a hideous night at a sleep center, I was informed that I have moderate sleep apnea – indicating I stop breathing anywhere between15-30 times per hour.YIKES!
In addition, my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer and is entering the last of 5 weeks of daily radiation and is feeling extremely fatigued.
And my newest adventure – The Art of Female Friendship – is in full activation mode and keeping me extremely busy.
In a rare moment of solitude and relaxation, I sit on my screened porch watching the sun set. I scan the headlines of the Wall Street Journal resting in my lap.
I am stopped in my tracks by the following headline: Stop Constantly Asking Kids How They Feel by Abigail Shrier.
I am mesmerized, even though my kids are grown up and have flown the nest.
I quickly realize that every day – many times a day – I am nervously probing my husband’s moods and his emotional needs.
How do you feel?
How do you feel?
How do you feel?
And paradoxically I am kinda ignoring my worries over my recently diagnosed sleep apnea because I already booked an appointment to be fitted for a mouthpiece that will hopefully correct it.
And paradoxically, I am ignoring the pit in my stomach as I routinely am startled from deep sleep each night to once again review the nitty-gritty to-do list of details for the “The Art of Female Friendship” event coming up way too soon on Friday, April 12. Details, I should note, that seem to be growing in length and breadth each day – instead of diminishing – as the event grows closer.
So I began perusing the article. Abigail Shrier makes some interesting points:
The more we vigorously hunt for happiness, the more likely we are to be disappointed.
Emotion “check-in” can encourage a self-destructive mindset in young people, who need to learn to manage and sometimes ignore their fleeting feelings.
A healthy emotional life involves a certain amount of repression.
People who adopt an ”action orientation” are able to focus on a task without getting distracted by thoughts about their current emotional or physical state. Those who adopt a ”state orientation” are thinking more about themselves in the moment …keeps themselves from being successful.
I’m still digesting all of this “wisdom” and wondering perhaps if the same can be applied to adults. In my case, I seem to do better when I put my emotions behind me and tackle a task. I’m wondering if my continually asking my husband how he is feeling is holding him back from getting his mind off his physical functioning right now – keeping him in a silo of radiation fatigue.
It’s worth considering. Read the article for yourself.
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
