I am so annoying. If I had a friend like me, I think I would ghost her.
Here’s why:
I constantly interrupt people
AND
when someone tells me a story, I one-up-them.
Do you know what THE WORST THING is?
I don’t even realize I am doing it!!!!!
Thank goodness for my little sister – whom I can count on to point out my less than stellar qualities. As I age, she is pointing out my flaws with a consistency and rapidity I didn’t think possible. She is keeping me in line, as my ability to filter seems to be less than it used to be.
So, since the New Year has arrived, my mindset is riddled through with big plans for a brand new ME.
- I will listen with an open mind and a closed mouth no matter how much I am tempted to sputter forth with my “wisdom.”
- I will willfully resist the temptation to share my similar experience with the speaker, even if my motive is not to boast or outdo someone else’s experience.
I’ve always felt that my one-upmanship is my way of inching closer to a person, letting them know they are not alone – that I can relate to what they are saying.
The problem is that half the time I don’t even wait until the person is done speaking to interrupt and respond. I just speak over them in a louder voice.
For instance, here is an interaction I recently had with a buddy:
“You had one root canal!” I retorted to my friend. “Whoa, I had a root canal, a massive infection invading my system and an extraction – all in one day. You got off easy!”
A little lacking in compassion, would you say? My reply lacked support and awareness of her suffering with a dental issue.
Here’s one more example of my great conversational skills:
“So, Joanie, your daughter is two weeks late delivering her baby?
That’s nothing – my first kid was three weeks late and even then I had to be induced. Relax.”
A little lacking in compassion, would you say? My reply gave no recognition of the difficulty of being overdue to deliver nor did I give any thought to how I could help my friend cope with a situation she couldn’t control.
My lack of empathy is a difficult revelation to wrap my arms around. I never thought of myself as competitive or boastful in interactions with others, but who knows? Rather, I always preferred to consider myself one who entertains, is self-deprecating and makes people laugh. Wow – I guess I have to re-think that one too.
I’m sharing not because I feel my life is so much more interesting. I’m sharing not because I feel I can present a similar situation in a more entertaining manner.
I’m doing it so that the person I’m speaking with will feel less alone. It’s my way of letting them know that their experience is something I can understand and relate to.
I have a lot of work to do.
I have spent too much time being myself and not enough time improving myself.
I have spent too much time speaking and too little time listening.
In the meantime, in 2025, I wish for you all:
Good health
Meaningful conversations with those you hold dear
A good night’s sleep
Synchronicity and harmony
And embracing the mindset that life need not be that hard
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
