I could not only buy this sweatshirt, but could wear it daily. And I’d get lots and lots of nods in agreement.
Every time a friend shares a confidence or a slightly off-color joke or a controversial political opinion, they jokingly, but also quite seriously, inquire of me the following:
I’m not going to see this in one of your columns, am I?
“Probably not,” I usually, casually, maddeningly and vaguely reply.
In all honesty, things said to me in confidence are respected mightily by me as “off limits”.
Another “off limits” subject in my weekly column is my absolutely adorable eight grandchildren, ranging in age from 2 years to 18 years.
Why?
Two reasons:
Their parents
and
My readers
Their parents are not wild about me sharing details of their children’s lives – including, but not limited to, their idiosyncrasies, crazy stunts or remarkable achievements.
And I don’t really blame the parents for not being eager to have their privacy invaded.
And I don’t really blame my readers. Most people are only mildly interested in other people’s grandkids’ brilliance and precocity anyway.
Most sane grandparents would agree that their grand -children are adorable and perfect – and the source of never-ending fascination – but they realize this is mostly confined to themselves.
So, little talk of grandkids ‘til now. Experiencing two totally different responses from my sons’ kids to my overtures and actions is making me pause to consider how to cope with this evolving and rather recent state of being.
What grandparent’s heart doesn’t warm when experiencing the devotion of their five-year-old grandchild?
And is there nothing more demoralizing to a grandparent when that simply magical five-year-old grows into an indifferent teenager?
I’m trying to deal with these dramatic changes so that I can enjoy each phase and each age of my grandkids’ lives.
My five-year-old granddaughter recently related to her babysitter that I am her most favorite person in the whole world!
I doubt greatly my teenage grandkids would even rate me in their top 10 list of most favorite people.
Those lovelies don’t jump in my husband’s and my bed at 6:30 each morning when they visit, cuddling close and smothering us with their cold feet and warm little fingers.
Our teenage grandkids don’t cry when they leave us, as does the two-year-old or hug us for absolutely no reason at 2 pm in the afternoon as does the seven- year-old.
We may get enthusiastic hellos – but too often the greetings are immediately followed by their deep dives into their computer screens or phones. Sometimes we even get a hug as they fly out the door to meet their friends – or a particular “friend.”
And yet, sometimes they surprise us with a late-night confidential text, a timely phone call about a college acceptance, a compliment out of nowhere or a favorable well-thought-out observation on our family’s functioning.
Our teenage grandchildren are slowly morphing into the adults they will someday become – expressing curiosity about our family history, questioning who we vote for and why we do.
And by their choice of friends to hang-out with, hobbies to pursue and school subjects they embrace, we see glimpses of the adults that in later years they will become.
What have I learned after being blessed with grandchildren – three boys and five girls?
- That my sons and their wives make great parenting teams.
- And to value each passing phase – whether it draws us closer – or drives them further into a world where I will not shine quite as brightly as I once did.
No matter – I feel that the ties that bind are still there and that all of the snuggling and focused attention was not in vain.
So, I will glory in their successes,
hope their challenges are minimal,
love them unconditionally
and watch from the sidelines as they find their way in the world.
And I will continue to hope that my husband’s and my presence and the memories we have made with them along the way will always be considered by each of them as one of life’s blessings.
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
