Oh No! Just two more shopping days until Valentine’s Day– the holiday with roots dating back to around 270 A.D. at least.
Not to be negative, but I’d be willing to bet ever since that ancient time more fights between couples have been occurring on or shortly thereafter this hallowed day – due to dashed expectations and dismal disappointments. So prepare. Think Intrigue and Enticement. Catch-Me-If-You-Can scenarios.
Years ago, on behalf of the large number of us who are gift challenged, I did a very unscientific sampling of adults and asked quite straightforwardly,
“What do you want for Valentine’s Day?”
“What do you NOT want for Valentine’s Day?”
Surprisingly, there was a tremendous amount more vigorous vociferation surrounding “The Don’ts.”
Here’s a wrap-up of “Don’t’s” from the woman’s point of view:
Not the same thing he buys his mother
Not the same thing he buys his secretary
Nothing at the last minute, without thought or planning
Not a wet vac or vacuum cleaner
Nothing with a bill to pay off
Remember: Most men are gift virgins.
Even the thought of walking up to a fragrance counter makes them sweat, perusing Amazon for just the right piece of jewelry will prove overwhelming, and since Victoria Secret has closed 250 stores, forget his quest for the perfect piece of lingerie that will flatter and actually fit you.
First, give some thought to how she prefers to receive love.
Time?
Touch?
Tangible gifts?
Words of affirmation?
Acts of kindness?
Pampering?
Now, here are some specific suggestions;
A handwritten note, poem or letter expressing kindness, appreciation and love – citing a specific detail or two to ward off the generic is strongly suggested!
Accompanying the note and befitting finances, one or more of the following works pretty well too:
- Jewelry from a local craftsperson
- Week-end Getaways – tuck in the name of a travel agent she can call to work out the post-Covid details
- A gift certificate to a professional masseuse, hairstylist, colorist, acupuncturist, make-up artist, manicurist/pedicurist, fitness trainer, reflexologist, astrologer, nutritionist, or plastic surgeon (be careful with the latter as she may misconstrue your intentions)
- A book she’s been meaning to buy – perhaps one that you can even look through together, such as Tiny Love Stories by Daniel Jones and Miya Lee.
Know what type of man you’re wooing – bohemian, landed gentry, woodsy, hard core classic – and gift accordingly.
- If he’s practical, buy him that new power tool he’s been craving.
- If he needs some peace and quiet, give air pods.
- Is he working from home? How about a desk chair with lumbar support?
- Does he need some healthy habits? How about a new pair of sneakers or a high tech blender for his smoothies?
- Have some fun with the presentation. Hide whatever you choose in the dining room, where a candlelit dinner awaits him. Or the bedroom.
- If he’s romantic and sensitive, write down a list of all the nice things he’s done for you in the last year and tuck it into a large basket filled with bath toys and bubble bath crystals. Then take a bath – together – and encourage him to read the list.
- If he is a guy’s guy, give him an evening of beer, pizza and a classic adventure movie streaming on one of the many available channels.
- Or if he is more highbrow, enroll him in a MasterClass of his choosing.
- If he enjoys cocooning with you, compile a list of podcasts to listen to and binge worthy series to watch together.
For my own husband of almost 45 years, here’s my public valentine message: Thank you for giving me the freedom to soar, the security to fail, and the love to sustain me as I do both. Gift to follow.
A happy Valentine’s Day to all and Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
Iris Ruth Pastor