A few years ago, I passed out a survey to a cluster of couples of varying ages whom I considered to have a “solid, well-functioning” relationship.
(Is there even such a thing? Hee hee!)
Primarily I asked them what irritated and/or annoyed them most about their mates or partners.
Here’s a sample of their responses:
HUSBANDS ABOUT WIVES:
Leaves the garbage on the porch for the garbage fairy (me) to lug to the curb
Never puts the driver’s seat back in position so I can get in the car without banging my knees
Worries too much about everything and anything
Never hangs up her clothes and then yells at me for the same thing
Carries on a conversation and in the middle of it, changes the subject and expects me to follow
Has to let me know every detail of her job whether I want to know or not
Wears the ugliest housecoat around the house
Talks too much and drives too fast
Makes me her gopher – go for this, go for that
Buys too many pairs of shoes – how many does she really need?
Keeps every drawer in a state of unorganized messiness – actually our whole house is
Throws stuff all over the place and loses things all the time
Puts off for days making phone calls for me
Tries to micro-manage our son’s life and works too much
Wants to talk on the phone too much
Wears way too much gold jewelry and can’t handle money
WIVES ABOUT HUSANDS:
Mumbles inaudibly and he’s moody
In the middle of the night, furiously cleans his ears with his index finger while he is still asleep – the noise is like a jack hammer
Believes that now that he has a wife, he has acquired the right to become a slob
Can’t do two things at once
Is ozone – never listens to anything I say
When he’ s wrong, he doesn’t apologize
Doesn’t allow me to do anything creative because he needs my undivided attention when he’s home
Gets up early before anyone else, goes into the kitchen to play his guitar and taps his foot on the floor – loudly
Coughs without putting his hand over his mouth
Eats the ice cream from the container
Drives too slowly and never knows where he is going
Drives too fast and never knows where he is going
Thinking that anything that falls on the floor has to be washed or thrown away – by me
Clears his throat all the time
Does the laundry but doesn’t fold it so everything gets wrinkled
Never hears the kids in the middle of the night
Never pulls into the most obvious (and closest) parking spot
Accelerates to get to red lights
When I ask my husband what irritates or annoys him about me, he says: “Nothing. You’re perfect.” That annoys me.
My favorite response: “I feel my husband is like fine wine – he starts out like grapes and it’s my job to stomp on him and keep him in the dark until he matures into something with whom I’d like to have dinner.”
Why am I printing these now – on the most romantic holiday of the year?
I’m listing them to remind all of us that perfect romantic relationships are an unattainable goal and that having pet peeves in regard to our loved one’s habits are universal.
Tuck those tidbits of irritation away and focus on the glorious reasons why you fell in love in the first place.
Happy Valentine’s Day and Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
