I was thinking yesterday about what advice for living would I give my eight grandchildren if they asked me when I see them over Thanksgiving.
They probably won’t ask, but just in case this is what I would tell them:
Consciously “handcraft” your own life.
What does that even mean?
A hand-crafted life is a life that is consciously assembled from pieces that you yourself select and put together. It’s self-created. It’s not a life pulled off the rack having been put together by others or unduly influenced by our culture and society. It’s a reminder to chart our own course and then – as I so often say – “Control Your Own Remote.”
The bedrock of my “handcrafted” life is the three-word phrase PRESERVE YOUR BLOOM. What does it mean? It simply means using your talents and resources to be the best version of yourself. Not perfect – because that would be courting disaster, but certainly good enough.
Here are some things I would implore my grandkids to consider and that will help you do just that too:
· Approach problem solving creatively. I have a giant fear of disjointed thoughts and typos creeping into my weekly newsletter. After writing it, the more I re-read my column, the more likely my eye reads what is supposed to be there, not what is. I solved this problem by sending my ister, my brother or my husband a copy to look over carefully BEFORE publication.
· Adjust plans. Roll with the punches. If the way you have always done it doesn’t work, try a new way. If the time that you have always done it, doesn’t work, try a new time. We break down barriers; we don’t resist them.
· View an event as a situation to be managed, not a crisis that will derail you. In my grandchildren’s case, I advise them to break down complex issues into smaller doable steps. Some examples: Studying for your Bar or Bat Mitzvah, getting acclimated to a new situation such as sleep-away camp, and/or applying for college.
· Collaborate/ask for or accept help. I am good at collaborating and very deficient in asking for or accepting help. My stock reply: “No worries, I’ve got this covered.” Even if I don’t.
Unlike me, I implore you to start early in life to seek help if you need it and accept aid when offered.
· Find every opportunity to laugh with your family and friends. This one is self-explanatory.
And then I would remind them that because they have been given so much, certain things are expected of them. One of them is that they take care of themselves.That they do good things for themselves. That they treat themselves with the same kindness and consideration with which they treat their friends and, hopefully, their family members.
Each of us can consciously choose what to do with our own life.
We can achieve our dreams – construct the kind of life we want to lead – buck the system – blaze new trails and fulfill our potential.
It starts with celebrating our achievements, forgiving our mistakes and embracing our uniqueness.
It’s about being kind to ourselves in moments of struggle and cheering for ourselves in times of success.
We then can experience exhilaration, joy, and the peace that comes from knowing that we are living our life to the fullest. And in doing so, we will leave this world a little bit better than it was when we came into it and we will be a happy and satisfied person.
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
PS Happy Turkey Day – May your heart be as full as your belly!