Tomorrow night my sister’s oldest daughter – my niece
Suzanne – will be getting married to her fiancé Mark.
Milestone events like weddings are an opportunity to revisit the past and reflect on the present. And it starts with gathering information.
If you want to know a kid, ask his mom.
So I decided to start with asking my niece’s future mother-in-law, Kathy, and Suzanne’s mom, my sister Lori, to describe their kids in five short words or phrases.
The first word Kathy used to describe her son was “slippery.”
“You had to watch him when he was little. He would try his best to get away with things. When I was on the phone (not cordless,years ago),he would know I couldn’t get to him, so he would climb up on the kitchen counter to get to the cookie closet. I would be making faces at him and he would ignore me.
His sister Lindsay’s consistent one-liner when they were little was ‘Mom… punish him!’”
Kathy also said the following about Mark: social, athletic, sax player in the marching band and personable.
Five phrases to describe Suzanne as a child from my sister Lori:
Energizer bunny, always busy, heart of gold, loves her friends, fearless and tremendous empathy for the underdog. (that was six, but my sister has never been great at math)
It’s pretty clear why Suzanne and Mark have meshed so well. Social. Personable. Engaged with life. And gutsy.
However, Mark and Suzanne had different approaches to how they broached the subject of each other with their moms.
What did Suzanne tell Lori when she had just met Mark?
“Mom, don’t start planning the wedding, but I went on a date last night and it was ‘just so easy.’”
Mark told his mom sometime later – I don’t even want to guess how much later – he had met someone… “at the “library.” Really, Mark?????
In truth, the app Hinge brought them together and on their first date they actually sat at a bar after a National’s baseball game chatting and drinking extra dirty martinis and exclaiming about how much they both loved the reality TV show “The Challenge” – a competition show where contestants compete in stunt heavy action-packed adventures. Sounds like great training ground for a great marriage.
After all, nothing is more perplexing, stimulating, frustrating and puzzling than matrimony and how to keep the marital platform both tantalizing and vibrant – so I suspect they are both well prepared after obsessing over that show.
I don’t know how much detailed information Suzanne gave her mom about Mark before Lori met him, but I suspect a bit more than Mark imparted to Kathy, which was: “When you meet her, you can ask her all your questions.”
Omg!
What a guy thing.
The week before their wedding, I asked Suzanne the following questions:
What’s one thing Mark would be surprised to know about you?
I think Mark may already know too much about me; I don’t think anything would surprise him at this point.
When did you know he was the one?
There was never a “moment” when I knew he was the one. It just happened organically and it was just so easy.
What’s his best quality?
Marks best quality is his patience!
Do you have a message for him before you get married?
My message to Mark is, “Good luck, you’re in for a wild ride with me!”
And I asked Mark the same:
What’s one thing Suzanne would be surprised to know about you?
I like to surprise other people, but I don’t really like being surprised myself. I‘m a planner and like to know everything in advance so I can prepare, although I normally prepare at the very last minute!! Suzanne knows I always ask a ton of questions, so I hate when people try to pull a fast one on me!
When did you know she was the one?
The first time I told Suzanne I loved her was at my 31st birthday party that she threw for me. It felt like she was the one ever since.
What’s her best quality?
Suzanne is a hustler. She will make whatever she wants to happen, happen. She goes out of her way to make sure what other people want to happen, also happens.
Do you have a message for her before you get married?
We’re a great team and I’m excited to take on any CHALLENGE together as “The Challenge” is still our favorite show.
Mark and Suzanne: Here’s to a wonderful wedding and a wonderful life.
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
Iris Ruth Pastor