JOOPS – What Is It And Why Should We Use It?

JOOPS – What is it and Why Should We Use it?
 
JOOPS stands for Journal of Other People’s Sh*t 
 
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know there are all kind of online apps to track special occasions – like close friends’ birthdays and anniversaries. I am way too attention deficit to track them down, sort them out, try them out and then master one. 
 
Though I have not found one, there is probably an app for keeping track of the myriad number of endless events, happenings and activities of our close friends and family too – better known as those individuals who are in our first concentric circle of personal support and engagement.
 
Robin Dunbar, an Oxford evolutionary psychologist, is best known for his namesake “Dunbar’s number.” This is the number of stable relationships people are cognitively able to maintain at once. The proposed number is 150.
 
Actually, I think I have a lot more than 150. I am, and always have been, a people collector. I simply can’t help it. I love people. I love their stories.  I love to figure out what makes them tick. 
 
Now I‘m not sure they are all “stable” (tee hee) relationships. And I am also pretty sure I am not cognitively capable of keeping track of everyone’s events, milestones, doc appointments, health crises, celebratory moments, travel plans, sporting events, professional successes, etc.
 
Years ago, I would have effortlessly remembered the minutiae without a list, app or tracking device. Not anymore. From the mundane to the memorable, I simply can’t keep in my head all the relevant and important details of the people in my life that have a rank on my own personal Dunbar number. 
      A friend’s arrival back in Florida after summering in NJ 
      A friend’s son’s bone marrow transplant treatment
      My adult kids’ professional presentations
      My sons’ important calls with colleagues, travel schedule, golf and tennis game scores 
      My grandkids’ soccer games, tennis matches, and school projects 
      My favourite nail tech’s breast surgery
      Friends’ husbands’ heart surgery, knee/hip replacement 
operations, skin cancer treatments
      My daughter-in-law’s new position
      A reminder to each of my adult sons to get a colonoscopy and then keeping track of which ones actually did
 
When we recall seemingly effortlessly both the mundane and the memorable, it speaks that we care. That we honor both milestones and the minor occurrences that make up so much of our daily lives. 
 
When we ask at the wrong time –
Miss the event entirely –
Never remember that we even forgot –
We come off as self-absorbed.
Unfeeling. 
Not listening.
Dismissive. 
 
We don’t come off as what we are: well-intentioned, absent-minded geezers. I’m tired of forgetting things I should have remembered or wanted to remember, but nevertheless have a hard time remembering.
 
Hence JOOPS – Journal of Other People’s Sh*t
 
It can be a plain spiral notebook filled with lined pages or a leather-bound journal. 

 
It could be a hardbacked calendar book. 
 

 
The point: designate a concrete, physical binder to only be used for the sole purpose of tracking our friends’ and family’s doings:
The ordinary. 
The necessary. 
The mundane.
 
Trust me.
We will be held in high esteem for our caring, our consideration and our attention to detail. 
 
And best of all…It will be our own little secret. I’ll certainly never tell.
 
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
 
Iris Ruth Pastor