When you lower your expectations
and stop trying to get
from your adult kids
what they are not programmed
to give
(that’s what best buddies
are for BTW)
When you lower your expectation,
and begin reveling
in the gifts of affection, time, forgiveness and patience
they do so readily extend
When you lower your expectations
and stop trying to control
everyone else’s actions
and instead
tend to your own
When you give
without strings
and with wild abandon
embrace what is offered
without editing, revising, yearning and tweaking
It’s surprising
how wonderfully magical
a trip to see
your out-of-town adult sons, their wives and children
can be
I can’t take credit for all my new-found fonts of wisdom.
I’ve been buoyed and aided by some very wise women who came before me:
my mother, the late Bev Levine
my mother-in-law, the late Hotche Pastor
and my aunt, the late Melva Case
Too many good buddies to list
(You know who you are)
and of course, my sister, Lori
Columnist Carolyn Hax
Authors and books:
The Giving Tree
by Shel Silverstein
Don’t Bite Your Tongue
by Dr. Ruth Nemzoff
Programs:
NOOM – the weight loss regimen that strongly fosters honest appraisal of feelings, fears, distortions and roadblocks
Movies
The character Isaac in “The Photograph” who says:
“I don’t recommend getting older. Less people to talk to
More time to go over every regret.”
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
Iris Ruth Pastor