There is NOTHING wrong with self-care!
Why? Because if you don’t take care of yourself, you simply can’t take care of others – as in the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
How do we keep our proverbial cup full?
First, we figure out what we need. If we zero in on what we are feeling, our emotions will guide us to our needs.
Second, we have to block out time to meet those needs.
Third, we have to allow ourselves the luxury of actually meeting those needs.
One pathway to self-care is to dedicate a physical space in which to dwell and cultivate a state of well-being. Think Women Cave. AKA She Shed. (Google for more info)
It’s not just a highly curated space with a concentration on lots of design elements such as texture, colorful accents, fun lighting, spatial planning, adequate storage, and multipurpose furniture.
What IS it?
A place of relaxation, de-compression, and re-energizing
A place dedicated to “me-time“
A quiet retreat from a busy life
A space reflecting the owner’s personality
A space of freedom, unbridled creativity, comfort and personalization
Think a harmonious and calm room, encompassing one’s hobbies, aspirations and talents
Three of my friends are here to help us with the quest to effectively self-care through the use of a WOMAN CAVE.
I have known Hope since second grade where she was always one of my “besties.” She is a cognitive/educational psychologist and spent most of her career as a professor at The City College of New York and the City University of New York Graduate Center. Hope retired in 2013 and is Professor Emerita from both.
“My cave, the sunroom, is used for viewing and keeping daily records of wildlife and as a greenhouse. The pandemic inspired me to begin growing vegetables here (where I am at this moment!) in containers in addition to flowering and other plants, including a miniature pomegranate tree.
“The sunroom, with big windows on 3 sides, was a magnet for me. I’m a nature fanatic. Although there are 2 chairs, only my cat Cosmos uses the second one. From my chair I can see 14 bird feeders. See what I mean about being a fanatic?! The lake also functions as a major feeding station.
“The sunroom mostly makes me feel excited about life and deeply appreciative about where I live. For most of my adult life I have lived waterfront, which gives me feelings of peace and connectedness to life on earth.”
Mary is married to an elementary school friend and although we have had only intermittent connection over the years, I always sensed a deep vein of commonality between us. This is not surprising since Mary has always worked in health and wellness.
Mary says that when her husband and she downsized in 2014, she made a woman cave in the lower level of their landominium. “It is one of my favorite places in our home. It does not have any windows, but is truly the place where I see the window to my soul.
“This is the room where I do my coaching, take classes, and participate in my Writing and Zoom groups as it is very private and almost sound proof. It is perfect for meditation and large enough for yoga. My back wall is full of books. This is also my art studio where I keep bins of art supplies and a small easel for my very elementary:) ‘works of art.’ I dabble with acrylics and water colors but most of my creative work is in writing.
“It is like a retreat, often kind of messy with bins of projects and books all over. The wall hangings are eclectic and promote peaceful reflection. During COVID, it has been nice to have a quiet place to read and work and sit, while my husband has his space upstairs.”
Mary currently has her own business, Promoting Health: The Middle Way, LLC as a Heath, Life and Spiritual Coach. She offers private and group coaching and has both a Website and Blog: themiddlewayhealth.com
Francine is an actress, singer and improv lady whom I met shortly after moving to Tampa. I was working at a family service agency and she actually “auditioned” for a job opening we had. And, of course, so taken with her vivaciousness, I knew then I had to both hire her and become her friend.
“My woman cave keeps me sane during this pandemic. It’s filled to the brim with my green screen, props, show line-up and costumes for my virtual “Pants Optional Comedy” shows with improvisers from around the world. My sunroom is a cluttered mess now, and once was uncluttered with just my solid wall backdrop for self-taping auditions for commercial and film work. Now my woman cave has a better purpose: it makes me feel good that I can bring joy to the world, with audiences throughout the world, via zoom improv shows.”
Here’s how to access Francine’s improv show: www.pantsoptionalcomedy.com
I met Margie when we were both going through the rigors of raising boys – her two sons were the same age as my two youngest sons. Margie is a true “ old soul” whose friendship and loyalty has grounded me for decades.
She is a Speech Language Pathologist.
Margie wanted a space to be creative and her art/craft table is her little corner of creativity. She is dabbling in watercolors, tissue paper collages and mixed media collage. She modestly states she’s not very good, but I beg to differ. Margie is also a master gardener and cook – and she does it all with great flair.
“I feel happy to be creating and productive,” quips Margie, “and it helps to pass the time during isolation from Covid-19.”
In closing:
Keep Preserving Your Bloom,
Iris Ruth Pastor