My mother passed away this week. My time has been spent attending to her funeral, connecting with family, and of course, honoring who she was and all she has given.
If it is okay with you, I would like to share her life with you.
She was an only child and impressed on her children the importance of having more than one child. So I took her admonition seriously and gave birth to five.
My mom was raised by a mother who worked full time so she impressed on us the importance of a mother being there when the yellow bus dropped off her kids at 3 pm every afternoon from school. I followed her example so wholeheartedly that one of my kids in utter exasperation asked me why I had to be home EVERY day when he got home from school. Couldn’t I at least every once in a while find something ELSE to do?
My mom was instantly captivated by a brash young man when she was 16 and married him at 17 when he went AWOL from the Army Air Corp before being shipped off to England during World War 2. I followed her example in this too but my captivating young man came a little bit later in life than hers did. And he only had to give up a day of working out at the gym to marry me.
My mom wasn’t perfect – she always was late to pick me up from school, a friend’s house or a birthday party, but in most other ways she was pretty damn close to perfection.
She was always there for me. When I was devastated by a break-up with a boyfriend, I’d get from my dad some obnoxious remark like “there’s nothing deader than yesterday’s romance,” but my mom would comfort me – saying “Everything you are feeling has been felt before,” and “those awful feelings would not last forever.”
My mom was known for many things:
- Her sliver cake – one sliver and you kept going back for more
- Her bowls of Rice Chex cereal coated expertly in white chocolate
- Her ability to balance her check book to the penny and complete the word jumble that appeared daily in the newspaper
Creativity was woven through her DNA – “La Bev” was her self-given nickname – not because she was a diva but because she truly regarded herself as a creator. Table decorations, invitations, and party planning all were her playground.
She was a trooper. She lost most of her hearing, so she learned to text. Her children moved away, but she refused to leave her hometown and doubled down on caretakers. She lovingly kept the friends she had and made more. Though she was driving less and less as her energy flowed away, she passed her driving test just a few weeks before it expired.
She was known for excellent memory, organizational skills, empty closets and exceptionally spotless premises. I can speak for my sister, brother and me when I also admit those genes eluded us.
In 2015, when Union Terminal – the majestic architectural gem of the City of Cincinnati – needed to pass a levy for essential maintenance and repair, there was only one commercial they ran continuously and only one person in that commercial: my mother.
On February 17, her 91st birthday – though she lay in a coma in hospice – my brother and sister and I – along with a group of friends and family – sang her Happy Birthday and cut her cake. About thirty minutes later, she slipped away. She died as she had wished – on the day she had been born and in the midst of a “party.”
The Cincinnati Reds lost a loyal fan.
The Cincinnati Museum Center at Union Terminal lost one of their strongest supporters.
Indian Creek Apartments lost a model resident.
A lot of people lost a loyal and caring friend.
Embers, Bob Evans, First Watch, Skyline Chili, the bagel shop, Graeters and Trios lost a good customer.
And our family lost our beloved and indomitable matriarch – “La Bev.”
But I must say, as sad as we are on her passing, I know there are four souls who are extremely joyous:
Her mother – Lily Diamond Friedman
Her father – Frank Friedman
Her husband – E. Pike Levine
And her older brother, Joseph, who died before she was born and who she grieved for throughout her life.
She’s now with them for eternity.
So farewell, Mom.
We will miss you greatly.
We will love you forever.
And we will live our life with zest and curiosity and passion in celebration of your passing.
Just as you lived yours.
– Iris
Being my mother’s youngest child, there is a great deal that I have not known about her family and her life before I was born. My mother is long since gone now, but I always remember her speaking with great affection of her sister Lily and her wonderful niece Beverly. My recent DNA test confirmed that I am your cousin, and my subsequent internet research has led me to this posting. I am indebted to you for posting this information and the photographs. It’s given me some wonderful insight into your mom and the nature of my extended family. I hope to hear from you so we can share so much more.